I created an intense large scale drawing during my model session Monday night. I’m not yet sure what to think of it. I often find that when something scares me, it normally means I’m heading in the right direction. When I draw, I feel connected with the materials, the paper, the surface, the subject. It is a ritual of feeling that moment, sensing my body, letting the tools become extensions of my limbs. I work against the tendencies of my habits, against the previous perceptions of my eyes. I let my gaze travel quickly, fluidly, disjointing the subject into small moments of gestural line. I can feel the consistency of the paint as I load my brush. The thinness of the sumi ink as I dip in sticks, brushes and in some cases pouring it directly onto the paper.
I play with pigment transparencies. Even blacks and whites have their variations. There is something about surface, and the colors, layers and imagery hidden beneath. This white is a vail, a barrier, hiding secrets. What is a void but empty space. Even with all this white, the void is still filled by the history of its preceding layers. An attempt at masking the tendency toward filling, a sense of horror vacui.